Every Now and Then
by Im Always Sorry in the Morning
Summary: How will Derek react when he can only have seconds with her? MERDER **warning**posibility of being a tearjerker


**Disclaimer: Don't own any of it. The song 'I Believe' belongs to Diamond Rio.**

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Derek walked into the elevator after a very long day. Today had been harder that he imagined, but she was the love of his life. He had tried to move on, tried to move out, tried to live, but without her next to him he was finding it purely impossible. He had had a patient today that reminded him so much of her, she had the same build, the same dirty blonde hair and the same exotic green eyes. But this patient had been taken from him as quickly as she had, in the blink of an eye. As the day's events played over and over in his head and the thoughts of the life he should have had with his fiancé rushed through his body a sudden overflow of contentment washed over him. He could feel her presence, smell the lavender and taste her sweet kiss. If he hadn't known better he would have thought he was going crazy, but these things happened every now and then.

_Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin  
I feel you come back again  
And it's like you haven't been gone a moment from my side,  
Like the tears were never cried,  
Like the hands of time were pulling you and me._

_And with all my heart I'm sure we're closer than we ever were,  
I don't have to hear or see I've got all the proof I need.  
There are more than angels watching over me_

I believe  
Oh I believe

It was times like these that he felt the closest to her, closer to her than he did at her grave or even in their bed. It was the same feeling he used to get when he would hold her after they had made love or the night that he had proposed to her. He got feelings of safety and pure love, nothing else. All the pain and all the mourning would vanish and for just those few uninterrupted seconds he was in heaven, next to her.

_Now when you die and life goes on,_

_It doesn't end here  
When you're gone every soul has found a flight  
It never ends if I'm right._

She hadn't suffered at all when she died. She was on her way home coming off of a 48 hour shift and had just hung up with him. Even though it had been exactly a year from the day she died he remembered it just like it had happened yesterday.

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"_Hello?" a big smile crossed his face when he saw that Meredith was calling him. He hadn't seen her in nearly two days and he couldn't wait to throw his arms around her, kiss her and tell her how much he loved her._

"_Hey stranger…long time no talk…I miss you terribly!"_

"_Well we can take care of that soon enough." He said with a hint of seduction._

"_Why Dr. Shepherd…whatever could you be talking about?" she giggled. He loved her giggle and every time he heard he fell even more in love with her. _

"_You'll see when you get home…let's just say I am going to show you how much I have missed you these last couple of days."_

"_Well I should be home soon, twenty minutes at the latest, I just left the hospital."_

"_Alright, take your time, no hurry I can wait a few more minutes."_

"_Well, I'll see you in a little bit I can't wait."_

"_Mer…"_

"_Yea?"_

"_I love you sweetheart."_

"_I love you too baby."_

_And with that they hung up. Nearly half an hour later his cell phone was ringing again, without even looking at the caller id he answered._

"_Hey, where are you?"_

"_Derek…"_

"_Chief, I didn't get a page, do I need to come in?"_

"_Yea…but Derek…it's…its Meredith. She's been in an accident."_

"_No…is she…is she ok?"_

"_Derek just get here as soon as you can."_

_He immediately got in his car and sped to the hospital._

"_Where is she?" he asked as he ran in the doors. The first person he saw was Christina and her face was stained from tears. The Chief walked in between him and Christina._

"_Derek…I'm sorry…we did…we did everything we could…she was gone before she even got here."_

"_No, no…this is not happening. She is not dead. No, I have to see her."_

"_Derek, you don't want this to be last image you have of her. She's not the Meredith you want to remember." Christina said walking up to him._

"_I don't care I have to see her." He pushed past Christina and Richard and ran into Trauma room 1. Bailey and Mark were standing over her lifeless body. Christina had been right, she was completely covered in blood, she had a serious head injury and there was a chunk of metal stabbing her in the abdomen. _

"_Oh my God…Mer…"he ran up to her and smoothed the hair away from her face, "Mer…baby come on you have to pull through this…you, you can pull through anything…Mer come on. Please…please don't leave me alone." He was bent over her crying._

_Mark and Bailey quietly left the room. For nearly three hours he sat next to her holding her hand and crying. Then the door open and Mark walked in, not saying anything just putting his hand on his best friend._

"_What…what happened?" Derek managed to get out, "How did this happen?"_

"_Apparently she was stopped at a red light and some drunken bastard rear ended her pushing her car out into the middle of the intersection. A semi t-boned her car, ran right into the driver side, she died on impact."_

"_What time did it happen?"_

"_The police say around 8:30."_

"_Oh my God, I…we, we had just hung up. I looked at my phone when I hung up, it was 8:30."_

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And just like that in the blink of an eye, she had been taken from him. Meredith, the love of his life was gone. He didn't know how to exist in a world without her, how to survive. But he had managed; it hadn't been easy at all.

_Our love can even reach across eternity._

I believe  
Oh I believe

Forever you're a part of me,  
Forever in the heart of me,  
I will hold you even longer if I can.  
Oh the people, who don't see the most,  
See that I believe in ghosts.  
If that makes me crazy then I am

Cuz I believe  
Oh I believe

There are more than angels watching over me.

I believe  
Oh I believe

Ever since that fateful day, he had sworn that he could feel her every once in a while, but it was always on the elevator, after a long day. Nobody seemed to believe him, but he came to the conclusion that because they were soul mates only he could feel her presence. And why the elevator? Well it was their place, it always would be.

_Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin,  
I feel you come back again  
And I believe._

After Meredith had drowned he remembered her telling him that she fought to come back because she couldn't have just seconds of him, she needed a lifetime. But now…now that was all they had, seconds. A little taste of each other and before he could blink it was all over.

"I love you Meredith…I miss you every day." He said before he walked off the elevator.

"_I love you too baby."_

And just like that it was over for both of them.

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**AN: So I hope you guys liked it…is it sad or is it just me?? Please read and review!! **


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